来源：环球时报
%WN2 xCSf uK5x[m 西式拳脚：
nB0 ol-< ? d\8Q't* by Allen Eagle
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最近，地铁十号线上的 “瞌睡哥”对一名女乘客破口大骂引起众多关注。
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cXqg Dx'e+Bm 如果这样的辱骂发生在纽约地铁上，而且这名女乘客决定发起反击，那么回骂的最好办法是什么呢？最伤人的莫过于骂他是“淫魔”。
*$D-6}Oay .p>8oOp “你这个变态，看到不认识的女士就乱碰，自己都不害臊。我要报警了，你这个老色狼！”
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8=. 接着她可以变换一下策略，指责他脏话连篇。“你妈妈从没有教过你礼貌吗？你这些话都是从哪儿学的？你还有没有脸？”
),, vu 1_lL?S3,a@ 在他骂她 “浪”之后，她可以这样回应“你这个变态，还有脸这样说？赶快回家自慰去吧，不要在地铁里到处揩油。”
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sZO4 + KNr1rG 如果他还继续辱骂，那她可以请人联系列车长或者警察。
&_j4q gwNkjI= , 或者，她可以掴他一耳光、用膝盖猛击他的腹股沟，或者对着他的脸就挥拳过去，因为地铁里空间有限，用柔道术把他抛出去不大现实。
Q 4q#/z m5{SPa,y 如果她还想进一步还击，就可以把焦点转向他“睡着了” 这个蹩脚的借口。她可以这样说“你就像一条被踢来踢去的狗，踢跑了还想溜回厨房舔几粒面包屑。如果你是清白的，干嘛反应那么强烈？你这叫此地无银三百两。”
3/FB>w gt 4/>={4Y9 “瞌睡哥”声称他老婆比这位女士漂亮，那么她可以这样回应：“你老婆漂亮？那她当初嫁给你时肯定是瞎了眼。或者她是你从哪个农村拐过来的？你得天天在她的脚上绑上铁链子她才没跑吧？还是你们是包办婚姻？我真想看看她第一眼看见你时的表情。你结婚第二天没接着办丧事就算你幸运了 ——要是我嫁给你第二天就会上吊了。”
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:NNHw 当“瞌睡哥”骂她是“浪妇”时，她也可以先自降一下身份，这样回应他：“你在地铁里靠揩陌生人的由来满足自己却叫我‘浪妇’？你这是要去买一些药片好让自己能得到满足吗？你这种恶心的人，你就应该烂在监狱里。”
o w[qpP[ 6u7wfAf 中国功夫 T<)z2Bi 3IFU{0a` by Jacob Li
( mlc' ]F q|J] “瞌睡哥”的例子很好地说明了在中国女人很难在一场骂战中占上风，尤其是当她被指为“浪妇”时，就更加没有胜出的可能。
L ai"D[N @1@WB ]mQQ 出于对“瞌睡哥”的出离愤怒、也出于对那位女士面对这样侮辱性的语言束手无策的同情，我决定写这篇文章，教教女同胞们如何应对这样的局面。这篇文章里也引用了中国古文化中的一些策略。
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90}B*3x 如果你是一位强壮的西方妇女，且你不能制止他这样侮辱性的攻击，那你可以毫不犹豫地赏给他几个耳光。而且不用担心是不是会把他的牙齿打掉，在中国找个牙医也花不了多少钱。但如果你是一名中国女子，或者不那么强壮的外国女子，那么你就只能用语言来和他进行对抗了。
6~>k]G xK3;/!\` 首先，要记住，如果你只是用一些普通的粗词来攻击他，那你永远也不可能取胜，因为他是男的。在中国，没有什么比骂一名女子“浪”更加侮辱的了，而且找不到具有同样杀伤力的词来辱骂男性。但既然他说自己“50多岁了”，那他就很可能有姐妹。
I#U44+c Q,`kfxA`O 所以，在这样的骂战中，可以按照中国的一些老规矩提到他的女性亲属。中文里亲属称谓非常多，足够你充分使用。你可以从他的妈妈开始，这常常也是最具杀伤力的。别忘了你还有其他的可以用，比如“奶奶”（爸爸的妈妈）、“姥姥”（妈妈的妈妈）、 “姐姐”（比你大的sister）、“妹妹”(比你小的sister)等。你可以用这样的句式：“你____才是浪妇呢。”不要以为我们的祖先白白创造了这么多丰富的称谓。你得好好研究我们的文化！
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lB2gr^ 问候他的女性亲属可以花去一分钟时间，剩下的时间做什么呢？ kM`#U
*j %A3Jd4DH 碾碎他的自尊。怎么办呢？我们都知道那些拎个男士包包、穿着尼龙袜，腰带扎得高高的中年中国男士从来都不在意自己的仪表。他们觉得这没有什么。但是中国男人的自尊有非常物质的一面，而且这一面常常敏感且易碎。你可以好好利用这一点。
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l"~"x^Rr 举例来说，如果“瞌睡哥”嚷说你要是不想挤地铁就应该自己坐出租车，你就可以问他干嘛不像他漂亮老婆的情人一样开辆奔驰。或许他老婆正用她那“双眼皮大眼睛”和不用天天上班的情人眉来眼去，而他还得在这里挤地铁上下班。
<@ u6*] vE(Hy&Q& “瞌睡哥”显然对革命歌曲非常熟悉，因为他还引用了其中的一首来辱骂这名女子。他用的是“洪湖水，浪打浪”，意思是波浪拍打着洪湖岸。在中文里“波浪”的“浪”和“浪妇”的“浪”是同一个字。所以，你也可以用这个字去问候他的一些女性亲属，你也可以说得文艺一些。用下面这句古语就可以：“长江后浪推前浪”，意思是长江里后面的波浪盖过前面的浪。长江要比洪湖有名得多，所以它的“浪”显然也更加汹涌。而且这句古语也比他的革命歌词历史悠久。要知道，在中国，越悠久就越有影响力。
<b I,y_<K mM.&c5U 相信有这些加入了中国元素的指导，你肯定能赢这场骂战。
}}_l@5 VIzZmd 谁是“瞌睡哥”？ T`sM4 VWqU H
#_ Z6J 北京地铁十号线上有一中年男子，坐在地铁车厢里打瞌睡，并不时靠在旁边女乘客的身上，他声称是因为列车晃动的缘故。当年轻一点的女乘客用肘部把他弄醒，他便对她破口大骂。当女孩请他不要碰她时，“瞌睡哥”骂这名女孩是“浪妇”。在中国，这个称呼是对女性的极大侮辱。辱骂的整个过程被一名乘客拍摄下来，并挂到网上，短短时间内吸引了数以万计的跟帖。
]mA?TwD hgGcUpJy? 一个女性的观点： i;Y^}2 Xk '.t| 艾伦&#·伊格尔从一个外国人的角度指出怎样应对“瞌睡哥”这样的人物，他的观点非常直接也很到位。如果在西方一名妇女遭受这样的侮辱，那么他的对策或许会很管用。同时，雅各布&#·李或许是受中国著名的兵书《孙子兵法》中某些战略的启发，建议女同胞对“瞌睡哥”以其人之道还治其人之身。利用中国的传统（中国有5000年的历史，必定有很多可以引用）、并影射他的母亲，再碾碎他的自尊。我相信两种方法都会管用，但是如果你只有几分钟的时间让他停止辱骂，那么对女孩子来说就应该用最有效率的办法：尖叫！假装听不到他说话，并且使劲尖叫“流氓！”，同时不停地叫“这个流氓骚扰我！”，不让他有任何还击的时间。
zn|}YovY+ {IWb:p#I] 我们应该这样看，混蛋就是混蛋，遇到这样的人你也没有必要注意礼节。最重要的规则是战斗、战斗再战斗！(翻译：张淑芳)
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# Dozing Brother leaves 'woman wanton' on the subway
gzF&7trN "#jKk6{I0 By Jacob Li
za7wNe(s YSyW '~!b The man dubbed the "Dozing Brother" is a perfect example that it's hard for the fairer sex in China to gain the upper hand in a verbal conflict, especially if she's accused of being wanton.
Cq~Ir*" e$=|-J z So sickened by the caveman, and out of sympathy for women who can't think of a snappy comeback in the face of such filthy language, I've decided to write this piece to instruct our female readers how to cope with similar situations. It's also a lesson in the finer points of Chinese culture.
Lt_]3g o LKcrr; If you're a strong Western woman, don't hesitate to slap the prick in the face if you can't stop him letting out the string of expletives at you. Don't worry that you would break his teeth - it's not that expensive to see a dentist here. But if you're a Chinese compatriot or a flimsy foreigner, you'll have no choice than to try to out-cuss the guy.
y e'5 A >kYyR.p.b First, remember you'll never win by flinging any old obscenity in his direction, since he's a MAN. In China, nothing is more humiliating than branding a woman wanton, and it has no equivalency for men. But since he said he was in his 50s, it's very likely that he has siblings.
<lR8MqjM_ 3yN1cd"#? So, resort to the old Chinese habit of mentioning people's female relatives in such bitch fights. Thanks to all the different family relationship terms used in our language, you have a huge resource to turn to. Start with his ma (mother), always the best and top of the swearing scale, but don't forget the other female relatives like nainai (grandma on father's side), then laolao (grandma on mother's side), jiejie (elder sister), meimei (younger sister). This is the sentence structure to use: "It's your ___ who is wanton." Do you think our ancestors invented those terms without a reason? You need to dig for the deeper meanings of our traditions!
2| BE{91 S# #W_OlrI It will only take a minute to mention his female relatives: What do you do with the rest of the time?
QUf_fe!,| 6EY4@0%A Crush his ego. But how? We all know the manbag-carrying, nylon sock-wearing, high-belted middle-aged Chinese guys obviously don't care about their own appearance. It's not a sin for men. But the Chinese man's ego has an extremely materialistic side that is very delicate and touchy. And you can play with that.
jQ* Qh o1\8>Ew If, like the Dozing Brother, he rants that you should've taken a taxi if you hate the crowds in the subway, you can ask him why he's not driving the Mercedes that his beautiful wife's lover actually drives. Perhaps she's making "double eye lidded eyes" at her rich lover who doesn't have to work while he has to squeeze into the subway to commute.
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U5A7 s8Oz^5p( Dozing Brother is obviously familiar with revolutionary songs since he used the lyrics of a song to cuss the woman. "Honghu shui, lang da lang" he cursed, meaning lapping waves on Honghu Lake. "Wave" and "wanton" are the same word in Chinese, both pronounced lang. So when you are greeting his female relatives, you should sound cultured too. Here's one saying you could use: Changjiang houlang tui qianlang, meaning "the waves behind ride on the ones before in the Yangtze River." The Yangtze is greater than Honghu Lake and more famous, its lang must be greater too. Plus the saying has a longer history than the revolutionary song. Remember, in China, the older the better.
Bx F Xl;N= fc With these tips with Chinese characteristics, you're sure to win the bitch fight.
4a-wGx #h ZV;y XLx| Dozing Brother leaves 'woman wanton' on the subway
u:ISwAp " Q1hP9xV By Alan Eagle
^iNR(cwgX Kl? 1)u3^4 The "Dozing Brother" infamously let loose a string of curses to a woman on the subway.
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t But if he started swearing at a New York woman on the subway and she chose to take the bait and respond, what would be the best way to curse him back? The most biting thing she could say would be to call him a sexual predator.
G <'S 5S LF1u; "You pervert, getting your jollies rubbing up against strange women, you should be ashamed of yourself. I ought to call the police. You're a dirty old man."
t2iFd? &k vVMn ok She then could have shifted tactics and criticized his foul mouth. "Didn't your mother teach you manners? Where did you learn to talk like that? Don't you have any respect?"
7(H/|2;-d8 Sf9+TW After he called her a slut, she could have responded, "You have some nerve, you deviant. Go home and pleasure yourself instead of molesting strange women in the train."
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t+5H zeX?]@]Y If he kept going, she would probably ask for someone to contact the train conductor and the police.
K-ebAa iC Lrq&k40y Alternately, she might have slapped his face, kneed him in the groin, or punched him in the face. A judo toss would not be practical in the confined space of a subway train.
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`h AI2CfH#:C If she decided to continue with the insults, she might have shifted gears and focused on his lame excuse that he was just sleeping. "You look like a dog that's been kicked one too many times, trying to sneak into the kitchen for some table scraps. Why are you so angry and foul mouthed if you weren't doing anything wrong? I think you protest too much."
OK=t)6 &b Sgj6tH2M The Dozing Brother claimed his wife was more beautiful than the woman he was insulting. She could have responded, "Your wife is beautiful? She must be blind then if she married you. Or perhaps she was kidnapped from the countryside? Must have been a strong chain to keep her from running away. Perhaps it was an arranged marriage? I would have liked to see her face when she first set eyes on you. Lucky you didn't have a funeral the day after your marriage - if you were my husband I would have hung myself."
x% 1Rp[ 5 *_# " When the man called her wanton, she could have lowered herself and humiliated the man by saying, "You are sitting there with that tiny little erection from molesting a stranger on the train calling me a slut? Were you on the way to buy some knock-out pills so you can finally get laid? You creep, you should rot in prison for the rest of your life."
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<vs.Ucxx Who is the Dozing Brother? @kw=0 I /g]9
y A middle-aged man who was allegedly asleep on a Subway Line 10 carriage, and who kept leaning on the two ladies seated either side of him, because of the swaying of the train, according to the dozy man. When the younger of the two female passengers elbowed him awake, he launched a tirade of curses in her direction; when she asked him to leave her alone, the Dozing Brother called her wanton, a terrible curse when directed at a woman in China. The whole process was filmed by a passenger and posted online, receiving millions of hits and thousands of comments.
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http://v.ku6.com/show/6UO7jGzY7JOhdg_E.html 3$Je, |bs \Z 8!iruN A female perspective lxZXz JkqZ i ^#R iCeo Alan Eagle's foreign way is very direct and to the point (and he hints, possibly a very small point at that). If a woman is abused like this in the West, perhaps his tactics will work. Meanwhile, Jacob Li, possibly calling on strategy from the famous ancient Chinese book, The Art of War, suggests using Dozing Brother's own cursing techniques to fight back. Look back to Chinese history (and we know there is 5,000 years of it to draw from), and take his mother's name in vain. Then bash his fragile ego in. I'm sure both will work, but if you have minutes to shut such a foul mouth, a woman has to use the most efficient method: screaming! Pretend not to hear his words, and scream out "liumang (Hooligan)!" And keep shouting: This guy is harassing me! Giving him no chance to say any words back.
6]VT n- /NZ R| Let's face it, an asshole is an asshole, and you don't have to behave like a lady. And the number one rule is fight, fight and fight!
