东海仙子：冰花诗一首英译（禁果）OK

东海仙子：冰花诗一首英译（禁果）

禁 果
Forbidden Fruit
By Rose Lu(Binghua) Tr. East Sea Fairy
伊甸园里
In the Garden of Eden
一朵艳丽的花
A bright blossom
结出了红红的苹果
Bears a smiling red fruit
 
周围的绿叶
That Unables the green leaves around it
垂涎欲滴
To hide their greed
 
远来的风
But a wind from afar
却顺手摘去了那个苹果
Picks that apple without a hitch
也卷走了
And carries away
夏娃远逝的身影
The floating-off shade of Eve
 
留下了丝丝禁果的滋味
Leaving behind a faint scent of the forbidden fruit
在空荡荡的园中
Lingering on
久久不散
In the empty Garden

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrs.html

Forbidden Fruit
By Rose Lu (Bing hua) Tr. East Sea Fairy

In the Garden of Eden
A bright blossom
Bears a smiling red fruit

That Unables the green leaves around it
To hide their greed

But a wind from afar
Picks that apple without a hitch
And carries away
The floating-off shade of Eve

Leaving behind a faint scent of the forbidden fruit
Lingering on
In the empty Garden

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3f4024480102ebrs.html

修改后：

Forbidden Fruit


In the Garden of Eden
A bright blossom
Bears a smiling red fruit

That enables the green leaves around it
To hide their greed

But a wind from afar
Picks that apple without a hitch
And carries away
The floating-off shade of Eve

Leaving behind a faint scent of the forbidden fruit
Lingering on
In the empty Garden